24
Dec

As I tuck them in

And tonight, I will tuck their little faces into bed. I will whisper things like, "he only comes after you've fallen asleep", in their ear and "I will always love you". I will tell her how I will carry her heart with me, I carry it in my heart, and she will tell me that she carries my heart too. I will tell him that I will eat him up I love him so and he will tell me "love you!" I will kiss their little noses and give hugs of care. I will let the magic take over their night, their dreams. Their dreams will take them to a magical place, filled with wonder and amazement. Today, they are small, they believe, they fill our home with laughter, and excitement, and noise, and toys, and messes. They fill our hearts and our souls. They fill us up so much there are times I feel it overflowing.

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Tonight, we will tell them to believe, that he is coming. We will leave him our home baked cookies, the ones we made as a family. We will leave him your letter, the one we worked on together. We will put them in their pjs and travel all around town looking at how everyone decorates their homes. They will fall asleep in the car and we will carry their little bodies in. We will tell them to believe.

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If I could keep you this small, this filled with wonder, I would. I would keep you small, and little. I would keep you with me, snuggled in with me. I would keep you believing in all of it.

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But tonight, I am not going to think of the someday. Tonight, I am going to believe with you. And in the morning, while we creep down the stairs, I will look to your reaction. I will watch to see your smiles, hear your laughs. I will hear your excitement and we will have our time, our little family. We will open the gifts, we will let you play, we will have our traditional breakfast and watch a holiday movie. Because tonight, I believe with you.

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