It's quiet

Another holiday, another year going by too quickly. Our company is gone, all holiday parties are complete, and it's just us now. Our little family, in our warm and cozy home, and the snow is falling so peacefully outside this little house of ours.

2013 and my little boy turned one. No more infants, no more cries in the middle of the night, no more bottles. But, no more cradling, no more "all I need is mom" feeling, no more littleness that is too much to take. No more infants. Now, we have a walker and a talker, and a frustrated little boy who in a blink can go from crying to a smile that melts ice. A "hi mom" from across the room that is overwhelming. A little boy that loves love, a little boy...

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2013 and my first is four. Four? She is in a big girl bed, in a big girl room, a room that is all Anna. A room filled with Anna princesses and horses and books. A room that is all hers. A four year old that goes to school, and has friends, and tells stories and wants to see pride in your eyes. Not a baby, but now a little girl...

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2013 and the two love on each other. Siblings who fight, and yell and love and snuggle. A four year old that constantly wants to hold him and hug him and an almost two year old that wants freedom. Two little faces, ones that I created and that define love.

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2013 and my little peanut Mia is 14. Her hearing is starting to go and you can see, she is a little sad. Although still a love in my life, she has to share attention now and she clearly remembers the "just us three" days. She cuddles and loves on me. She checks on me every night to make sure I am in bed before snuggling in herself. She is a bit slower, can't walk as far but still smiles and has a little puppy in her when she wants to play.

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2013 brought me this blog and for me, that means it brought me healing and peace. An ability to explain my second chance at childhood. 2013 brought me a confidence and joy in my work. After years of struggling to be comfortable in my own skin, I feel I have a grip on the work, my focus and my goals.

2013 has been a gentle and sweet year. It has given me the time to reflect on them, on us, on this choice of parenthood we made. We carry the weight of family and look forward to what the future now holds.

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