Every Friday we unite for five minutes to write on one word. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on willing.
What am I willing to do? That was the one question I asked myself when we started this journey of family. What am I willing to do?
Am I willing to fail, am I willing to admit that I am failing at times? Failing them, myself, my career, my friends?
Would failure look like my daughter asking me why I am playing with her before dinner because I am normally working and telling me that I work too much? Would I be failing her? Or would I be willing to take the punch to my heart and sit her down to tell her that I do work a lot, and I love my work, but I love her and all of us more. Everyday, I love us all more.
What would this place, this new journey, what would I be willing to do for us?
Would I be willing to lose myself, who I am, who I wanted to be, who I still want to be? Or am I willing to become a new person, a new version of myself?
And the answer, I am willing to love. I am willing to let go of the past and revisit a happy childhood. I am willing to admit that not all moments are wonderful, but the good always manages to carry me through to the other side. I am willing to admit that this is a balancing act that I was never prepared for and I am willing to admit that I am learning as I go. I am willing to love and I am hoping that love is always enough. Love always fixes the broken and the tired. I am willing to love.