What happens when you are closer to 40 than 30?
When you are worried about the future and all the uncertainty?
When your wrinkles tell your story, our story,
and each one has a happy line, a worried line, a memory?
What happens when you almost do not recognize yourself in the mirror
and everything looks...different?
Everything looks familiar, but not quite you?
What happens when I remember the two kids that started this journey and how many lifetimes have passed?
What happens when we are not kids anymore?
When we are no longer playing dress up but really living these lives?
What happens when this is our reality?
What happens when I have to let you go and be you?
When you leave this house?
When you leave our home?
When you let go of our hold?
What happens when my patience is gone and my words are filled with yelling and frustration?
What happens to you when I yell?
What happens to you when my face looks angry?
What happens to you when I lose me?
What happens to us when you walk away with your head and shoulders down, a sad look on your face.
What happens to your childhood, to your memories?
What happens when I spend and waste all of this time waiting?
For the house to be done,
for the mess to be cleaned up,
for the worry to go away,
for our lives to go back to some sort of normal?
For Sunday morning breakfast,
and not being so overwhelmed,
so out of control.
What happens when I waste time waiting for me to come back to us?
What am I missing?
What am I missing out on?
What am I not being present in?
What happens when we are together,
hand in hand,
smiles on our faces,
ready to take on the day, the week, the world?
What happens when we are building their memories and their childhood,
and their strength?
What happens when we are getting it right, and all you hear is their laughter,
What happens when you can see their childhood unfold?
What happens when we enter our next stage?
What happens when it's back to the two kids,
who started long ago,
and wanted and created
all of this?
What happens when we live and love this life?