22
Mar

The last time...

I didn't know it at the time.
None of us do.
It just sort of happens.
We are all so busy being parents and me,
I was too busy being sad about big milestones and drinking you in that I didn't take note.
That's how it happens in parenthood, you just wake up one day and realize something you cherished hearing or seeing your kids do, has somehow stopped.
And then you realize, that it's done.
It's gone.
There was a last time and you didn't even realize it.
And then we sit there and say "remember when they used to do this?"
And for me, the memories wash over me like a warm bath.

100_7495 Houser127

I didn't know the last time you called Mia "woof-woof" it was your last time.
I didn't know the last time you mispronounced ravioli, it was your last time.
I didn't know the last time we gave you a bath, it was your last.
I didn't know the last time you fit on my chest was our last snuggle like that.
I didn't know the last time you cried for me at night, it was our last feeding.
I didn't know the last time I washed your infant clothes you wouldn't fit into them anymore.
I didn't know the last time you played tug of war with Mia, it was your last.
I didn't know the last time I fed you baby food, it was our last time.
I didn't know the last time you took a bottle, it would be your last.
I didn't know the last time you crawled, it was over.
I didn't know the last time you needed help getting dressed, it was our last.
I didn't know that the last time you reached for me from the floor, would be the last.

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So many times, parents can't wait for a phase or stage to be over.
They can't wait for a little more independence right around the corner.
But me, I sit quiet.
I think long and hard about those times, those moments.
I feel a part of me break.
I now look at all of our happy routines and can't help but think,
when will be the last time?

Our last Friday night movie.
Our last Sunday breakfasts.
Our last 7am Sunday morning snuggles.
Our last hand holding while crossing the street.
The last time...

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This post was inspirted by a poem...the last time

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