I love hearing you both laugh.
A real laugh, right from your belly.
I love hearing Cole say "nice and cozy"
I love hearing Anna tell me about her day.
I love how crushing the small in our house is right now.
The messy crazy small.
I love our Friday nights, our Sunday mornings.
I love seeing you in PJs, fresh out of the tub.
I love the way you guys smell when you come in from playing outside.
I love hearing you ask if you can play outside.
I still love saying goodnight to you, I love this special calm moment of our day.
I love how small your clothes still are.
I love how tiny your shoes are.
I love hearing you talk about future plans and I love hearing you retell parts of your childhood.
I love your memory.
I love your words.
I love you both.
This year, you started school.
Get on a bus and navigate your own schedule kind of school.
This year, I held your hand as you walked to the stop,
I watched my little one grow, right before my eyes.
I watched your excitement, your joy of independence.
I got to watch you become more like me, in every way.
This year, I got to watch you do you.
This year, you started to laugh loud.
You fell madly, deeply, effortlessly in love with your dad.
This year, he became your hero, your moon and stars.
This year, we started a new night-time routine, just us two.
I come in to sing our song and as I start, you place your chubby still baby hands around my face,
you fill in the parts I leave for you and together we finish with
"you'll never know Cole, how much I love you, please don't take my Coley away."
This year, you both grew.
This year, you are both still little.
This year, my gift doesn't fit in any box,
it can't be written into a card.
It's just that I am lucky enough to be yours.
I get to love you.
And I'm not always the best at that.
But I am always trying my best.
I am proud of you.
I am joyful because you are my children, in my life.
I am happy to be carrying the weight of family.
I love you both.
Endlessly, fiercely, effortlessly.