21
Jun

I can't tell you

The way he looks at you, always feels so safe with you.
He has wanted to be your sidekick since the day he was born.

It's progressed to this place, this incredible special bond you two have.IMG_0511
Whatever you are doing, he has to be right there, helping, doing it with you.

You are his everything.
You are his moon, his stars, all things light.
You are his dad.

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When she's startled awake, it's you she calls for.
It's you that first comes to mind.
It's you she wants to come rushing to her side.
It's always you.

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You want so much from her, you want her to be so much.
You expect greatness because you see her incredible potential.
You see all she is about to become.

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They were your idea.
You are the reason they are here.
You fought for them, you laid down your reasons.
None of them made sense,
but you ended with "I just want to be a dad."
You wanted to be their dad.

I can't describe to you the look on your face when we realized we were pregnant.
Just like I can't describe but will never forget the look on your face waiting for her in the operating room.
It is a moment burned forever in my memory because you were so scared, so excited, so lost.
You weren't the strong one, and that's never ever been the case with us.
And then there was the first day the three of us were alone together, in the hospital.
How you turned on music and danced with your day old daughter.
How you told me she was crying and you would do anything to have her stop.
Because you knew you could.
There were all those times I caught you telling everyone how much you love being a dad to a girl.
And the time we were sitting in the diner, and I told you we were going to have a son.
The smiles and tears that poured out of you.

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And whenever he is moving on, hitting another milestone,
you are more excited than all of us.
Your heart is just full, with joy, for them.

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I can't tell you how many times you show them love.
I can't tell you how much you mean to them.
I can't tell you how much I know you break your own heart when you think you are letting them down.
But I can tell you that they know sweetie.
They know that you love them,
they know that we will make so many mistakes,
but they also know that we always ask for forgiveness and patience.
They know that we will keep trying,
they know that they created a family in our little home.
They know that you want all that is good for them.
They know you are going to push them to be their best.
They know that you are not going to settle for them settling.
They know.
All because you're their dad.

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