Every Friday we unite for five minutes to write on one word. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on share.
It is no secret that I would have stayed pregnant with you both forever.
It is no secret that I did not want to share you with the world.
It is no secret that I cherished every second of holding you from the inside.
It is no secret that when you were making your way out to us, I turned to dad and said
"I'm not ready".
I'm not ready to let her go,
I'm not ready to be a mom,
I'm not ready to give him up,
I'm not ready for the part of my life to be over,
I'm not ready to share them,
I just need more time.
And that is how our story started and that is where we still are today.
I am never ready for you
and your next steps
and all you can do.
You are pushing me,
out of my comfort zone
out of my routine
out of my mind
because it does not matter if I am ready, just that you are.
And you have always been.
You have always been ready to share this world.
You have always been ready to share yourself,
You have always been ready to share you.
And so, there is still this flicker of time that I still get, just us five, snuggled in.
Before life becomes all chaos.
There is still this brief pause, this moment that is hanging in the air.
Where I get to share in all of our sweet moments,
I get to relish in every memory we are creating.
This time in which I am sharing you, but I still get the majority of you.
But tomorrow it will change again,
and you will remind me that ready or not mom,
it's time to let you go
it's time to share you again.