There are so many times that "I love you" does not seem to be enough.
Because when your love is bursting from you chest
and at makes you feel like you can't breathe
"I love you" seems so small.
So I find other ways.
I find deeper way to connect and make you feel a love that can only be described as washing over us all.
I say it with looks and hugs.
I say it when I stop and settle with you.
I say it when I am not distracted.
I say it when I say olive juice.
I say it I reach for your hand.
I say it with I eat you up I love you so
I say it I carry your heart.
You say it back with mommy's sweet and low
and I carry yours too.
I say it with my February notes of love.
You say it by reminding me how much they mean to you.
I say it when I squeeze your hand three times.
You say it by squeezing it back twice.
I say it with our family movie nights
you say it with talk all week about how excited you are for Friday.
I say it with sign-language for I love you.
You say it back by getting your fingers just so.
I say it with creating a framily
you say it by falling just as hard.
I say it with warm snuggle blankets
you say it by asking me to join you on the coach.
I say it with our reading dates
you say it with begging for them and asking for night time snuggles.
I say it by telling you all about you as a baby, as a toddler, as my little one
you say it by falling in love with our story.
I say it through this blog, this journey I created for you
you say it by wanting to read them with me.
I wish I could let you know what it feels like to be a mom
the love that is just there, always there growing and growing and growing.
But, all if this is my attempt to have you even come to the flood you created.
Because you started something special when you picked us
and you redefined love to be messy and heartbreaking and complicated and tiring and energizing and...
so I will continue to find special small ways to remind you that love is all around us.