There's no wrong way to be you


Mom has always been really into learning the most she can about herself.
Personality tests, loves them.
Assessment tests, bring them on.
Anything that gives me that ah-ha moment about myself, or others
clears a fog of frustration
stops me from judging people
and helps me to understand those I love, including myself.

And recently, I could not be more all in on this.
I have started listening to a podcast that on almost every episode asks a "know yourself better" question.
Are you more of an over or under buyer?
Are you more of a moderator or abstainer?
Are you more of an owl or early bird?
Because the message is, there is no wrong way to be you.
There is no wrong way to be you.

Know who you are.
Know your strengths, know your weak spots and use your strengths to set you up for success.
Not success in a career
not success in a relationship
not success at school
not success as a friend
but in life.

If there's something you don't like about yourself, let's figure it out.
Let's find out how to make you be you because life is all about what is working and not working for you.
But, and this is most important, know when to accept yourself and when to ask more of yourself.
There is no wrong way to be you.

Know when this is something that just is with you
and when it is something you need to improve.
And how can you do all of that if you are not finding out what makes you tick?
What makes you react?
What triggers you, good or bad?
How you feel appreciated and loved?
How you feel motivated?
How you communicate?
How you show love?
There is no wrong way to be you.

I have spent years
all of my life kind of years
feeling bad about the things that made me tick
badly about how my mind processed.
So judgemental, of me
so secretive about who I was and how I did things
so lost with why others think so differently
have so much more room
work so smart and not hard
can let things go so easily
all of my life kind of years...
There is no wrong way to be you.

Mom is all about order.
Everything has to have a home, a place.
Clutter hurts my brain, my stomach, my ability to move.
Clutter in all forms.
Clutter wastes my time
it depletes my energy
it makes me have to stop when I probably don't have the time to stop
it makes me have to think too hard and I already have too many decisions on my plate
clutter takes away my space to think clearly and process.
There is no wrong way to be you.

Mom is all about responsibility.
I am responsible.
I am loyal.
You can count on me.
I have a hard time saying no and if I say yes, that is it, I am all in.
I have a lot of responsibilities and I make myself responsible for a lot.
There is no wrong way to be you.

Mom is all about words.
Because I have always searched for approval
because I have longed to hear I am proud of you
because I work so hard and do so much
because I show love by doing
because I sacrifice so much
because words matter to me
because I write to you
because I tell you
because words can hurt and uplift
because words matter to me.
There is no wrong way to be you.

Mom is all about quiet and alone.
I crave it
I find it
I start my day before most of the world wakes up because it is just me
I spend a lot of time in the car
I run alone
I bike alone
I close myself in my office
because all day I am asked to give of myself
because people come for me all of the time
because I have to be social and chit chat a lot
because I have to ask so many times for one thing
because I am in meetings all day long
because I am an introvert and I find my energy in the quiet sitting.
There is no wrong way to be you.

Mom needs very little friends but very deep connections.
Because I believe that friends are the family you get to pick.
Because I believe that connection is important.
Because I believe you have to laugh to get through this life.
Because I believe you have to have someone to count on and someone that counts on you.
Because friendships make your heart strong.
There is no wrong way to be you.

Mom has a lot to work on
like finding smart ways to work
like recognizing when she is in over her head
like when she is repeating bad habits and making costly mistakes
like when she is over the edge
like when to pull back
like seeing it all sooner than she ever has
like not doubling down.
There is no wrong way to be you.

Now it's your turn.
Because I will remind you there are things that just are with you
but accepting yourself does not mean we don't' ask more it means we realize
There is no wrong way to be you.

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