18
Nov

The first time

First starting out, there are so many the first time moments.
Some are just pure joy.
I saw your smile.
We smooched.
We held hands.
You asked me to be just yours.
We fell forever in love.
You fell forever in love with Mia.
You got down on one knee.

Some are a big deal.
We decided to move.
We agreed on our place.
We bought a house.
We decided this was ours, our forever home.

Some are life-changing.
A stick changed everything.
Our connection was born.
I felt you move.
I saw you.
I held you.
I fell so hard for you.
I fell in love at first sight.

Some are magic.
I realized you owned hearts.
You walked.
You talked.
You said mom.
You too fell for Mia.
You made me laugh.
You laughed.
You went to school.

Some are crippling.
The doctor called with bad news.
We felt heartache in a way that changed us.
We stumbled and continued to brush ourselves off.
I didn't save a baby item because "we are done".
We said goodnight to Mia.

Some continue to make me smile.
You said yes to Pearl and fell harder than I did.
We made plans for old age.
I started a list of "want to dos".
New traditions with old friends.

Some keep us guessing.
Starting my business.
You starting your side project.
Taking leaps and believing in ourselves, something neither one of us is good at.

The first time we met, it all fell into place for me.
My life was re-written and you started me on brand new chapters.
It's been 18 years and I keep thinking the firsts are behind us and we just get to live now.
But what kind of life is that?
Maybe that's one of the many secrets to marriage is that you have to keep finding your new.
You create your next first times.
And some will be pure joy, some life-changing, some heartbreaking, and some will continue to make us smile.
Remind us of how life keeps writing itself and we have to commit to the pages of our story.

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