31
Mar

Five Minute Friday - define

Every Friday we unite for five minutes to write on one word. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on define.
Go.

In the end, how will we be defined?
What will be remembered?
What will be the words people use...
what will be my legacy, my mark
what defines me?

Love
Strength
Fear
Passion

What titles define me?
Mother
Bride
Friend
Runner
Triathlete
Writer

What actions define me?
Feeling the constant weight of the world.
Action, never taking a back seat.
Throwing my arms around my community.

And what makes me...me?

Recently, I had a friend ask me what brings me pure joy in life.
And in one of the saddest moments ever, I could not answer her.
That took my breath away.
How can I not be defined by my joy?
How can I not know my joy?
How can I not make my life about joy?
Because joy, more than happiness, is the whole point.

And now, I start a new journey.
One in which this tired, exhausted, distracted and therefore angry person...
finds joy.

My journey is about defining myself as joyful and moving towards joy.
And that may mean there are times I am unhappy
because to be joyful is to be great and to be great means you walk through darkness to find the light.
I take my first step in the definition of me.
I will leave this world with joy
and allow it to fill my heart
I will have my children tell me that is what they loved most about me
my love of them
my joy of mothering
my joy of life.

Stop.

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