17
Jul

Five Minute Friday - free

Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on free.
Go.

I was 17 when I left, promising to never return.
I remember those first few months on my own and the freedom that I felt.
Making my own decisions, figuring it all out.
It was a freedom that made me smile.
But what I didn't realize is how asleep I still was.
What I didn't realize is how much I was chaining myself to my past.

And then, I let go.
And that's when I woke up to freedom.
Free to laugh like a kid.
Free to not blame, me or them.
Free to no longer hate, worry, plan my life around them.
Fight against them, fight all day.
Free to forgive, free to understand.
Free to create a family, make my own choices.
Free to create a second childhood, a new beginning.
Free to love all of them.
There came a time when I realized that I had to forgive with no apology.
I had no other choice but to move forward and not commit the same mistakes of my past.
A time when you realize that coping skills are vital to raising kids.
A time when I stopped running, I stopped looking over my shoulder.
There came a time I let go, I woke up, and I took off the chains I was using.
A time I became free.

Stop.

Comments

  1. Hello, Dropping in from FMF...Lovely take on the word...Also remember the freedom of "leaving home" with all the ugly behind...

  2. Janet says:

    Oh! I remember the first time I left home. I was also 17 and full of my new independence, full of worldly wisdom gleaned from what I later knew to be a protected and sheltered life. The world certainly had a way of bringing me up short. But time and experience, and community, and the love of those I had so easily thought I could cast away changed me. This is beautiful. I especially relate to "forgive with no apology". Yes! No "buts'. You are very wise; thank you for sharing. I hope your weekend is peaceful.

    1. childhood says:

      Thank you for your loving and kind words, for your understanding of pain and healing and for your taking the time to read a part of my journey.

  3. denise says:

    so beautiful.

  4. […] makes you heal. I believe that family makes you feel a heavy weight that somehow makes you feel free. I believe in growing old together, hand in hand. I believe in love. I believe in love fixing the […]

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