23
Jan

Five Minute Friday - share

Every Friday we unite for five minutes to write on one word. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on share.
Go.

There was this brief moment in time, when it was just us.
And then, we decided to make them.
And for an even briefer moment in time, it was just me with them.
I got to carry them with me,
I got to be someone that carried two hearts.
And when it came time to share them with this world,
I wasn't ready.
Not in the way most moms aren't ready,
I just wasn't ready to give them up.
And I think that's why I tell them that I carry their heart,
because I was so lucky to have that opportunity.
I was so so lucky.
And when it came time,
I just didn't want to let go.
I wasn't ready to share you with the world.
I wasn't ready.
But of course you came.
You were always and still are always more ready than I am for your next move.
And it has been wonderful.
Watching you interact with everyone, watching others fall in love with you too.
But, when I think back on those times,
when it was just us,
when I knew your every move,
when I knew you were sleeping, or when I knew you had the hiccups,
I remember how amazing it was.
How I was able to have this little sweet moment in time, of just us.
And how, although I will never have it again, I will always go back to that time to remember how in love I was.

Sharing is hard,
you both know that now.
And I have to share you with each other, and dad, and grandparents, and teachers, and friends, and coaches and the list will continue to grow.
So, when I am holding you a little close when we have our time, please remember how much it meant to me.
Time with just us again, I hope we continue to carve even a few hours a week of just us four.
Because soon, you will both walk out that door and start your own.
I will be one of the people you share your time with.

And the memories will keep me warm.

Stop.

Comments

  1. Helen says:

    Oh, your post made me so nostalgic. I also loved that sort of secret time when it was just me and my two littles, each of them, separately, in my belly. There was a secret knowing there, a closeness. [I used to love it when my son used to wake up with the birds, always so wide awake, listening to them start to sing (I always imagined)...it was a beautiful, beautiful time). [He was born nearly 7 weeks premature, and I always feel a little tweak of sadness when I think of that time; I had been so looking forward to feeling him a little longer (but, of course, I am thankful he was well, is well, and I love seeing him becoming even more him as he roams his world with his 8 year old eyes....).....[A FMF friend]

    1. childhood says:

      So true! I know most woman are so uncomfortable during that time and I was just so lucky that I felt great and was able to really love it. It happens so rarely. Pregnancy can do a number on woman for sure. Although I love seeing the people they are becoming, that time together was just exceptional. Thanks for getting it and thank goodness your little one is well!

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