11
Jan

I love you more

It's Sunday morning, a little past 7am and you know that once the clock reads 7, you can come out.
I hear your feet hit the floor, and your door open.
My heart starts to fill as I hear you run down the hall and whisper "mom, can I snuggle with you guys?"
You come in, right between us, rest your head on our pillow, snuggle under the warm blankets and you reach for my hand.
I quickly kiss your nose, my eyes still closed, still tired from last week and already exhausted thinking about the week ahead.
And you whisper, "I love you mommy".
And all I can say is..."I love you more".

This will always be true.
I will always love you both more, more than you will ever love me.
You will not realize how strong this kind of love is, not until you hear a little voice whisper, I love you mommy.
Not until you realize that you love little faces through sibling fights, and screaming no in your face.
Not until you realize that you love them through good and bad choices.
Not until you see them hurt, or sick and all you want to do is take it from them.
Not until you hear a two year old voice, full of happy.
Not until you see a kindergartner step on a bus and wave back to you.
Not until you are all sitting around, in pjs and in love.
Not until you live for quiet Sundays or Friday family movie nights.
Not until you hold them for the first time and really connect with the person in your care.
Not until you give them a bath and see how adorable they are.
Not until you have the power to kiss away the hurt.
Not until you are willing to lose yourself for them.
Not until you labor and scream them into this world.
Not until you fall in love with your person more because you both love them.
Not until you realize that you need to come up with new phrases for I love you, because it's just not enough.
Not until you say, olive juice...I love you more.

Comments

  1. Jamie says:

    Once again, Sabrina, beyond beautiful! You have perfectly captured this with your words. They are the thoughts that all good parents feel, but cannot properly articulate. Thank you for giving these thoughts a voice. "Olive juice"...that melts me!

    1. childhood says:

      Thank you Jamie. Hugs.

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