16
Sep

Five Minute Friday - listen

Every Friday we unite for five minutes to write on one word. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on listen.
Go.

I have been told it is my best quality.
I have been told it is why people always feel so comfortable.
I have been told it's why I am so good at my job.
I have been told that it's because it makes people feel important, and heard.
Who doesn't want to be heard?
All we have to do is listen.

However, I know me, and I know that with those I cherish the most, I don't always listen.
I am too interested in being right.
I am too invested in making sure they don't get hurt and trying to protect them.
I am trying too hard to get them to see it my way, the way I think is the right way.
When all I have to do is listen.

And as we continue to go down this road,
as you grow and I no longer have babies
if I don't tune in and just let you talk
you will not turn to me.
If I make you feel judged,
if I make you feel like you aren't making the right choice, the right decision,
you won't feel heard.
All I have to do is listen.

All I have to do is listen.
Because if I am not your rock today, I won't be later either.
Because I made a promise of the mother I want to be remembered as.
And I want to be the one you can rely on
to listen.

And yes, I will admit, I am good at listening.
I love hearing people tell their story, share their life.
But what happens when you are asking questions about yourself to no one.
Kind of leaving it out there that you are questioning so much about your journey,
will I be strong and wise enough to listen?

This entire year,
I feel as though the universe has been screaming at me.
I feel as though all of the questions I have, the universe has answered
But my fear keeps blocking it out, and treating it all like noise.
I am not listening to all of the reasons things will work out.
I am not listening to my instincts
I am not listening to all of the support I have.
All I have to do is listen.
The questions have been answered
all I have to do is listen.

Stop.

27
May

Five Minute Friday - cheer

Every Friday we unite for five minutes to write on one word. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on cheer.
Go.

I was never good at this.
Being the cheerleader, being the one to push people on and forward.
Until I realized it doesn't have to always look the way people think it does, the way I thought it did.
Sometimes cheering someone on means just simple listening.
Allowing them to pour their heart out and not say a word, no advice to give, other than cry if you need to, cry for as long as you need to.
Sometimes cheering someone on means letting them know they are not alone, people love you and are here for you.
Sometimes cheering someone on means not letting them hold their pain inside, where it will destroy them.
Sometimes cheering someone on means just simple listening.

The one piece of parenting advice that I got that I think is the only one I have tried to follow is listen.
Don't talk, just listen and listen as intently as possible.
They will start talking and if they feel you are listening, they will continue to.
Don't judge, don't advise, don't push.
Listen to the little things now and they will tell you the big things later,
because to them, it is all big.

And so, I am your biggest cheerleader.
I am always in your corner, to back you up.
Even when you are 100% wrong, I will be your foundation to rebuild.
Because I am here to listen
not judge, not tell you how to do it differently, better, but to help you come to your own conclusions.
To let you fall apart until you are ready to put yourself back together.
To hold your hand and hold you close when you feel your most alone
to cry with you
to listen
to cheer.

Stop.

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