5
May

Five Minute Friday - should

Every Friday we unite for five minutes to write on one word. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on should.
Go.

I, like too many of us, am filled with "should".
I should be in a different place in my career by now.
I should have a little more of me figured out.
Parenting, this seasoned and yet all too new mother should know what she is doing.
I should have a grasp on joy, my joy...I should be providing more joy.
I should be more organized, I should be less stressed.
I should have found a much better balance.
I should eat this, I shouldn't eat that.
I should look, feel, react a certain way.
I should be doing more yoga, I should do this race and this one.
Our puppy should be potty trained.
Our kids should be better mannered.
I should yell less.
I should listen more.
I should be sleeping way more hours.
I should be putting on my oxygen mask first.
I should start that class.
I should go get that massage.
I should be making more time for everything.
I should be managing this all better.

Our lives, full of shoulds.

What happens when you put the shoulds and have tos away?
Glorious, gorgeous life...

I have come to some sort of peace that who I am, at my core, is someone that does find comfort and actual peace in the organized and the checked off list.
At my core, I am the list maker and the one that remembers all of the have tos.
And all of that is ok, it's who I am, it's what makes me tick, it's what makes our lives hum.

But, when I sit in only shoulds and have tos, I lose my hum.
I become overworked
over committed
overwhelmed
because it all spills over.

And this type A, crazed woman needs a reminder that pausing, breathing, and slowing way down is magic.
It's joy and chaos and laughter and happy lovable kids.
It's smiles and safety and childhood.
It's love.

This mother needs a reminder that when you throw the shoulds away, even for a brief moment,
the world still goes on.
Nothing shatters
everything is still ok
and almost always, better than ok...

Stop.

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