Happily ever after

Once upon a time, a very long time ago...
a boy and girl met.
They were young, they smiled at each other a lot, they loved spending time together.
You would catch them holding hands all of the time, smooching in the corner.
They were happy.

She wanted to leave where they were living,
he was unsure, of leaving behind all he knew, all he had already accomplished,
but he did.

He wanted kids, and marriage, and a suburban life, and happily ever after.
She was so unsure, of herself, of her abilities, and didn't believe in happily ever after,
but she did.

And somehow, they continued to be happy.

Life went on, as life does.
This happy couple went through some bumps,
she had MS,
he didn't find a job after the move,
she works a lot,
he (now working in his chosen and desired field) is around kids all day, and then comes home to be a full time dad.
He balances,
she balances.

They found a house,
they built a home.
They have two wonderful kids and a dog.
There are times, they are the definition of happy.

And once she had her daughter, she realized that happily ever after does exist.
It just looks so different than what anyone thinks.

The two, they fight, they argue, they are unsure, they are growing,
but not in different directions and that's what is important.
She is stubborn, he has a temper.
She HAS to be right, in control, he is more forgiving.
He flies off the handle, and she has to bring him back.

And here is the secret to all relationships, including theirs...it is so easy to love someone through the good and even through the bad.
It's all the in between that you have to worry about and work on.
There is so much more time spent in the in between.
The lull, more moments are there than in the good or the bad.
The paying of bills, and mowing of the lawn, the laundry, the house upkeep, the raising of children.
That is where all of your efforts and work has to go into.
The good is easy and the bad is natural and easy,
it's the in between.
That's where you have to find humor.
That's where you will be tested.
That's where you have to work and decide to love one another.
That's where marriages, families, make it or break it.
Because in this time, you can get bored.
You can get distracted.
You can find it hard to remember that at the end of parenthood, it is just you two.
You can get lost in the details and crazy of life.
You can get lost in the kids, in the schedules.
Parenting, it can make you walk in separate directions if you're not careful.
You can forget why you started.
You can forget that hope you had when you looked at each other.
You can forget that you are better together than you are apart.
You can forget that they are watching, hoping to see what love looks like.
You can forget that you can do this alone, but don't want to.
You can forget that you decide, each day, decide to be together.
You can forget that happily ever after, it's there, it's here, it just looks different than we are taught.

That boy and girl,
they have grow up.
They are adults, no longer playing house.
And the best part, you can still find them holding hands.


Five minute Friday - visit part 2

Every Friday we unite for five minutes to write on one word. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on visit.

Last year, I wrote a five minute prompt on visit.
I thought back to a time when all of my friends and I were in one location, one apartment, one town. All smooched together.
Now, we all live all over and all we have is our visits.
This prompt, my mind goes to something very different.

I have been thinking a lot recently about how fleeting life is.
How we all think we have a tomorrow.
How my aging parents are the only people I know that talk about life after they are gone.
But last month, I saw a young mother of three lose a battle and leave this earth.

For weeks, I thought about what that must have felt like for her and her family.
As I would put my two small faces to bed, I would think...how would I ever say goodbye?
This young, this small, how would I say goodbye?
And I thought about their visits, their time together and what they would say back and forth to one another.

Those precious moments when you try and smooch a lifetime of love into days/weeks.
Visits when you want them to know how memories of your time with them will keep them warm.
How even if you are not here, you will always be with them.

And all I could do is think I don't want to wait for visits.
Not now, not as I age.
I just want them to know now.

I carry you with me everyday guys.
Just thinking about you makes me smile.
You are strong and loving.
You are a part of me and a part of him, and together, we are better than apart.
You are lucky because you got the best parts of us.
You are remarkable, and smart.
You are the definition of love.
You gave me a second chance, at life, at childhood.
You keep me warm and fill me full.
I am always with you, you are always with me.
Carry me in your heart and I will carry you in mine.
And above all, I love you.


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