Childhoodtake2!

There are hard parenting days,
and then there are days that level you and you think,
I was not built for this.
I was not made to tackle this all.
I cannot possibly keep going because I am failing so miserably.
I just don't know how to parent you because
I was not built for this.
(or was I?)

I was not made to be rejected by little people.
I was not made to teach them love.
I was not made to constantly say the same thing, over and over and over again.
I was not made to be patient.
(or was I?)

I was not made to yell.
I was not made to be calm.
I was not made to be always gentle.
(or was I?)

I was not made to be leveled.
I was not made to be torn down.
I was not made strong.
(or was I?)

Was I made to parent you?
Was I built strong to face all of this?
Was what happened in my past part of what I can see in you now?
Is this my karma?
That I can see the importance of childhood,
That I can see and am attracted to the most beautiful of people because I can their glorious light in a way that most do not get?
This is what I was made to do wasn't it?
I was made to see the childhood and beauty in you.
Even on our dark days.

I was made just for this.
I was made to let go of hatred.
I was made to show you love.
I was made to show you gentle and kindness and respect.
I was made to show you strength and hard work.
I was made to show you smiles
I was made to be your hug,
your safe space.
I was made to be your parent,
your love,
your light,
your soul.

I was made for this.