Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on who.
It's already cold in NY.
Bundle up in coats and gloves and hats cold.
Fall is shorter and shorter in this area and although beautiful, the cold leaves you feeling a bit out of sorts.
Not ready for the drastic change and needing a little more of a runway to winter.
It's like fall is losing its way a little more every year, just like I am.
I am losing my way and I am sitting here thinking who?
Who am I connected to, can I turn to, is in my circle, has my back, is a part of me, understands this?
Who can lend an ear, a hug, a heart.
Who has heart left to give?
Last night, I cried.
Not because of but for those I love, I cried for loss, I cried for me.
I cried out of fear and pain and release.
I searched inside for my who and what if I come up empty?
What if the who is lost?
What if I lost it all?
Once upon a time, fall was full of color and cool nights and fires and warm clothing and all things cozy.
Just like me, which is why it was my favorite.
Because I too saw colors and beauty and built a life around cozy.
But somewhere along the way, fall and I got lost and we have turned too cold too fast.
The who is who I lean on to build me up, to listen, to stand together.
I am losing my way, my path, and my clear mind.
I am losing myself in layers and loads of bad and I am worried.
What if I am also losing my who?
To the who I turn to, I now need a new map and some new directions.