22
Nov

Five minute Friday - hide

Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on hide.

Go.

As adults, especially as parents, sometimes all you want to do is run and hide.
Sometimes, you have to remind yourself that you are the adult in the room and that you aren't allowed to go anywhere.
Sometimes, you remember how confident and sure your parents were in their decisions, even when their decisions were so wrong, and you think, did they ever feel this way? Do other parents, do other parents?

There are some decisions that are so clear, so obvious.
There are others, that make your heart stop beating for a second and the world stop spinning because you do not know what to do.
There are some reactions that are so natural.
There are others that make you stop breathing because you realize you are being watched so you need to think about the look on your face, the emotion bubbling up.

I'm 42 years old.
I'm a mom to two wonderful kids.
I have a husband I have spent 21 years with.
I am a business owner after 20 very difficult years running an agency with all my heart and love.
I own a dog that I care too much about.
I have a lot to be grateful for.
I have a lot that bursts my heart open.

But, I am human. And those 20 difficult years, I wanted to put the blankets over my head and hide.
Those 21 years with my husband, many of them were spent in a fog of raising humans.
Those wonderful kids, they push buttons, they made you tired, want to run away and hide kind of tired.

But because of all we have done, all we continue to do, all that we are responsible for, I wake up every day.
I try.
I parent.
I love and I love hard.
I work.
I listen, I learn.

Because as much as we want to hide, eventually, we have to come back around and remember all we can do, is try and try again.

Stop.

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