Oh, hello

Good morning joy, it's been a while since I have seen your face.
First thing in the morning, it's been a long long time.
I suddenly noticed you when I felt light, airy, almost a bounce in my step.
I saw you when I was walking Pearl and loving her tail wagging.
I saw you while in the gym and pushing myself hard.
I saw you this morning, when the snow was quietly falling, I noticed the quiet and I breathed you in.
I saw you and I remembered what you felt like.
Good morning joy, welcome back to me.

Good afternoon joy, it's been a while since I have felt you.
Right in the middle of the day.
Working my day, working my work.
It's been so long since I have felt this good about my work and my day and my schedule.
It's been so long since I have felt happy, this happy, this joyful.
I am able to break and be.
I am able to run my day the way I would like to.
I felt you creep in while I wasn't looking.
I felt you take a hold of what was once tired and dread, and I breathed you in, again and again and again.
Good afternoon joy, welcome back to me.

Good evening joy, it's been a while since I have seen you.
At night, when the chaos really begins.
But, there you are. Present when my daughter comes home and fills me in on the funny of her day.
Present when our little guy comes barging through the door and asks to go play.
Present when I take Anna to the gym and get more alone/walking time with Pearl.
Present when we settle into our nightly routines.
Ever present when I'm finishing up on my work and feeling good about the spot I'm in.
Present, there, just fluttering.
Good evening joy, welcome back to me.

And by the time I crawl into bed, it's a different kind of tired.
It's a ready for bed tired vs I want the world to go away tired.
I can read for a bit now, allow my mind to escape, vs I can't even keep my eyes open.
I take a bath to keep the cozy feeling going vs I have to wash the day off of me.
I dream of my life vs the nightmares I was living in.
The stress and anxiety and fear of my world are still present, I can still sense them, but they are once again fuel. No longer a foot standing on my chest and not allowing me to breathe.

My breath is different joy.
My smile is different too.
My thoughts are mine again.
My coffee can be felt.
My mood is yours joy.
My eyes are open again.
My life is okay...I feel okay.

Hello joy, welcome back to me.

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