Childhoodtake2!

The different and the novel are sweet, but regularity and repetition are also teachers. –MARY OLIVER

This is the story of my life.
Oh sweet loves, the rituals, the repetition, the schedules, the routine.
It is what makes my world turn. It is what makes me tick and function.

This is the story of my life.
Since I can remember, I was drawn to the repetition and all the freedom I feel with it.
That's right, I said freedom. Having a schedule and routine makes me feel like I am free.
It makes me feel like I have a purpose. It makes me feel like I know what is next because I do.

For most of my life, I lived by every single minute planned out. For most of this time, I wore busy like a damn badge of honor.
But then I broke and I stopped fighting, spinning, surviving, doing, proving I can do hard things.
And I slowed my ass way down.
That's right, this crazy mother of yours started to really work a lot less, do a lot less, and focus on naps and walks more than not sleeping and racing marathons.

But the routine, that never changed.
But I never ever walked away from a solid schedule, and discipline, and repetition, and knowing what comes next.
Like a workout at the same time, a run at the same time, a walk at the same time.
Like days I take all the meetings and days that I just don't take any.
Like my to do lists and how and when I get them done.

The different and the novel, I still love those too.
I am not saying that I don't love something different.
I love to try new things and I love to be spontaneous and flex.
Oh, but a routine, how I adore and crave a routine.
How I love coming home from vacation knowing what I can slip into.
How I love the start of fall when we're all back on a schedule and I know you guys are off on your own schedules.

The repetition and rituals are teachers.
They teach us that we don't have to be motivated, we just have to stick to the schedule.
They teach us organization.
They teach us the definition of discipline with freedom and less concentration.

So yes, I fall into a routine and a schedule and the ease of repetition.

Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on owe.

Go.

I owe you my happiness because you gave me mine.
I owe you my smile because yours is sunshine.
I owe you my heart because you make it beat.
I owe you my commitment to us because you are committed to us.
I owe you my joy because you gave me yours.

I owe you my motherhood because you convinced me to mother.
I owe you my kids' eyes because they are yours.
I owe you my home because you built all of it.

I owe you my soul because you brought it to life.
I owe you toes because they are happiest touching yours.
I owe you my hands because they are the happiest holding yours.
I owe you my health because you took care of me, you take care of me.

I owe you my hugs because you give the best ones.
I owe you my smooches because you are one amazing smoocher.
I owe you my time because 23 years is a long flipping time.
I owe you forgiveness because we all make mistakes.
I owe you apologies because we all make mistakes.

I owe you this life, the one we created, built, fought for, fight for.
I owe you.

Stop.