Childhoodtake2!

Part of your 20s are so easy.
Part of your 30s are so difficult.
Part of your 40s are so confusing.
Because you have time again and you love that.
You have space again and you needed that.
You have yourself again and you forgot who you were for a minute.
You have the ability to think again and you do think.
You think about your choices.
Your decisions.
Your regrets.
Your path forward.
Your anger.
Your concerns.
Your blessings.
Your luck.
Your work.
Your work ethic.
Your family.
Your person.
Your life.

Part of getting over your past is feeling very confused.
Because there is a part of you that needs to let go and be who you are. There are no more excuses.
This is you now. You are not just your past; you are also who you decided you would be. A combination of the past and the decisions you made to create a new future.

Confusing because there is part of you that wants to shout that you shouldn't even be here. You've done so so much with so so little.
Part of getting over your history is reliving it.
Part of getting over yourself is realizing how unspecial you are.
Part of building yourself back up again is reminding yourself that you are special.
You did take something awful and made it great.
You did build something out of nothing.
You built a life where one should not be.

Part of healing is having to remember you are so not perfect.
You will make so many mistakes.
You will have a tantrum because you feel so unseen, so unheard.
And you are reminded of how others see you, and how that isn't always good.
Because you're a person too and you get to make so many mistakes.

Part of remembering where you came from is screaming out, from your gut.
Taking up space and believing that can be okay, you have space you too should take up.
Stop shrinking.
Stop allowing others make you feel so small.
Stop crouching.

Part of living is losing.
Part of it is giving up.
Part of it is not giving up.
Part of it is letting go.
Part of it is holding on for dear life.
Part of it is trying so so hard to show yourself some grace, some actual compassion.

Part of growing up is incredible.
It's incredible.
Part of it is so lonely.
So very very lonely.
In your friendships, in your marriage, in your world.
Happy, fulfilled, doing all the right things, lonely, scared, sacrificing, stumped.

Part of being human is so complicated.

Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on stuff.

When you were so so small, the tree was filled with stuff.
I mean, so so many little things that it spilled into the main living room.
That stuff made your eyes light up. The gift from Santa, the hope, the wonder, the anticipation.
It was the definition of childhood.

As you grew, the little things stayed, but the stuff got less.
The many inexpensive things replaced with some larger more expensive things.
But your wonder, magic, the joy, and childlike excitement, that all stayed.

As trinkets were replaced with clothes, shoes, concerts, tech, your appreciation and warmth never faded.
It's one of my favorite things about you. How grateful you both are.
How you realize how much time and attention we put into Christmas morning.

And as the stuff continues to become less and less, one thing is certain.
You love the things that matter.
The breakfast together.
The jammie days.
All the movies.
All warmth.
The traditions.
The joy that fills our home.
The wonder.

Thank you for picking us as your guide.
Thank you for picking us as your cheerleaders.
Thank you for picking us as your audience.
You have given us so much, you will really never realize.

Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on trade.

I'll trade you.
For just one day.
Let's switch who we are, what we do, how we respond, how we react, just for one day.

I'll trade you.
I'll take your life, and you take mine.
I'll take your day-to-day, and you take mine.

I bet you I come back grateful.
I bet you I come back feeling more respect for you.
Your strengths.
Your work.
Your friends.
Your light.
I'll trade you.

I want to grow up to be just like you so for one day, let's trade.
Let's walk in each other's shoes.
Maybe you'll feel my weight.
Maybe I'll feel your pressures.
Maybe we'll both feel differently.

I want to see what it's like to be as loved as you are.
So, let's trade. Just for a day.
I want to see the world like you do.
Not understanding why anyone would be mad, not understanding why anyone is mad.
So, let's both trade and I can feel how great it is to be alive. How new it all still is.

Just one day.
Let's trade.