Childhoodtake2!

Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on nurture.

I hold you close.
I protect and keep you safe.
I protect your light.
I build you up.
I can see, in my mind's eye, all you can accomplish.
I make you dream, a little bigger.
I see you potential, and it's pretty f'ing grand.
So, keep going. Keep being you. Because you are the best you I know.

I hold you close.
I protect and keep you safe.
I protect your light.
I am your biggest fan.
Forever and always in your corner.
Even when we don't agree.
Even when you are clearly wrong, I have to steer you back to your heart.
I see your heart, I carried it in my body, I know what it is capable of.

I hold you close.
I protect and keep you safe.
I protect your light.
I laugh with you.
I run with you.
I work out with you.
I bike with you.
I walk with you.
I read with you.
I play games with you.
I watch show after show with you.

I hold you close.
I protect and keep you safe.
I protect your light.
I allow you to lead our dance, because you lead the way.
I allow you to grow and be, because I know you've got this. All of this.
I will always and forever have my arms open to you.

I hold you close.
I protect and keep you safe.
I protect your light.
I am your nurtuer and I love like a mother.

Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on bury.

I've this creeping
Suspicion that things here are not as they seem
Reassure me
Why do I feel as if I'm in too deep...
...I will go alone
Long way
Bury the past for I don't want to pay
Oh, how I wish this
To turn back the clock and do over again
-DMB

For so many years, I have wanted to bury the past. I have wanted to move on, forget, maybe even forgive.
But, I am in a new period in which I want all of the memories, the warm ones that I will remember on my death bed and the cold ones that send chills down my spine.

Because all of them make me.
All of them are reminders of how quickly time passes.
How nothing, good or bad, lasts forever.
So, there is no need to bury the past.
Bring it up, forgive your wrongdoings, forgive others even if they are no longer in your life.
And live.

As they say, live this one, precious, glorious life you are given.
And to keep the stones from weighing you down, you have to turn them over, examine them, and toss them into the water to become pebbles.
Wish them well as you let them go.

Dear February, let's reconnect.
Let's come back to myself.
Let's strengthen routines that support my energy, my sleep, and my emotional safety.
Let's remember, in the month of love, that there are things to love...about myself.
Because it is easy for me to focus on my wrongdoings.
My mistakes, my regrets.
So, let's remember the good and fall, even a little in love, with me.

Let's reconnect with the fact that you are a good, kind, loving mother.
Let's remember that your 16-year-old wants to talk to you about her day, and your 13-year-old, he still likes to be squishy with you.
Let's remember that the work you put into parenting, the work that did not feel like work sometimes, it felt as natural as breathing.
Let's remember the cycles you broke, how natural that felt, too.
Let's remember the hugs, the kissing noses, the hand holding, the little sayings, the traditions upon traditions that have now become their foundation.
Let's remember the open talks, the boundaries, and the trust you formed.
Let's remember how you allowed them to feel protected as you continued to let go and go and go. How unnatural that felt, and how you fought your natural feeling to allow them to feel independent.
Let's remember that you raised, with your person, two remarkable people.
Let's remember, you are a good, kind, caring, and loving mother.

Let's remember that you are a good friend.
Let's remember how you build people up, you do not knock them down.
Remember that you are an all-in friend, and that comes with a lot of baggage and heartache, on both sides, but it also means you would give your all for those you love.
Let's remember how fiercely you project, how you will never allow their light to go out.
Now, let's remember to do the same for ourselves.
Let's remember you, too, have a light that deserves to be projected, and it's up to you, and you alone, to protect it.

Let's remember how hard you love.
Let's remember that others get to feel the warmth of that love.
Let's remember that your puppies feel warmed by that love.
And your person, the one you promised to share your life with, will never live a day without that love keeping him safe.
Let's remember that love from you comes with a stamp for life. You will always and forever love someone you once loved.

Let's remember the work you have done to forgive those who have never apologized for how they treated you.
Let's remember the grace and love you showed and continue to show them.
Let's remember the work you continue to do on yourself. How hard you are on yourself. You are the first to point out your faults, the one who focuses on your shame.
But also, please remember there is a lot of good in you, too. Good that needs to be remembered and held. Hold on to that good too, because it's there. It's living inside of you, and it's time you remember her too.

Yes, you are a work in progress.
Yes, you will not stop working on yourself.
And that too is good.
But please, remember that you are not only a work in progress.
There is already good that lives, breathes, exists.

Dear February, let's reconnect.