Dear 2018

You were one of my favorites, and also one of my toughest.
You taught me, but really taught me.
You reminded me I need to be humble, and thankful, and most importantly, me.

You reminded me I needed to be me.

You were my glorious year of different
You were patient with me until you weren't.
You were kind to me and you brought me joy until you couldn't anymore. 
And I felt as though you turned on me, but the truth is, I had walked away from me and I needed to crawl back, and so I did. 

You had me focus on my health, eat more, drink water, remember how important the basics are.

You reminded me to be grateful, and really take a moment to say thank you and why I love you.
You allowed me to upgrade my life,  for the girl that makes life too hard and too complicated, you not only reminded me but actually allowed me to finally make things a bit easier, more simple, less cluttered. 

You got me back to those that mattered, those I have always needed, those I never get enough of and you allowed me to reach out and reconnect and take the time to show love and patience and gratitude for all of them. 

Yes, I lost my way, I lost who I was and I fell into a deep dark sleep for a very long time. But then I woke up again and remembered what morning was like.

Why I love it, why the light matters to me, why I need balance, why I am okay, why I matter too.

I remembered what it felt like to wash my face, feel the sun, hear laughter and enjoy it again. 

You were my glorious year of different and you mattered, you made a lasting impression. 

I am thinking hard on 2019, it is going to be a tough one for me and on me.

But it will all be worth it because it is time, and god knows I can do anything for a year. I can hold on, I can endure, I can work my way out of it, I can find a little more grit, a little more love, a little more me. I can do it. 

So thank you 2018. Thank you for being on my side, thank you for reminding me how it is important to remember who I am, what I am, at my core. Thank you for reminding me to balance myself out, thank you for reminding me that I am okay, even though I am too much. 

Thank you for loving kids, thank you for warm smiles, thank you for a puppy that loves love, thank you for my strength, thank you for my grit, thank you for not allowing me to give up on me, thank you for allowing me to find space to breathe, thank you for taking away what is toxic, thank you for giving me more love when I need it. Thank you 2018 for being so different. 

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