Different ways

We are having a tough time recently.
Work for both is stress.
We're tired.
They are tired.
We are always on the go.
We still have house projects and feeling like we have no time to connect,
no time to unwind.
We are also working very hard at parenting with gentleness instead of force.
Working on creating peace and kindness so that our children are gentle.
And every time we fall back into old patterns, we feel even more stress.
Because now we are making you stressed too.

And worse, I feel that we make you feel unloved.
Like it's all too much and you are part of that too much.
It must be hard on you too.
Which is why you are coming off hard.
You are asking to be loved and supported and happy.
You are asking for us to let you be kids.
You are asking me to remember you have a heart, and it is easily broken.


I can see the change in you.
When we practice peace.
When we are gentle.
When we are loving.
You are different.
You are kind.
You are loving.
You are happy.
You wrap your arms around us and say "olive juice".
Your melt downs are less.
Your sense of self, your sense of worth, you feel an importance.
You matter.

And so, in case you are ever wondering if I love you,
how much I love you
I do.
A lot.
More than I can ever explain.

And I am realizing that there are so many ways for me to say I love you.
So many different ways you need to hear it like:

I am sorry.
I forgive you.
I am listening.
I am proud of you.
You filled my bucket.
I am so lucky to be your mom.
Thank you.
You have a kind heart.
Can you help me?
Can I help you?
Let's play!
I know you'll make the right decision.
I trust you.
I love to watch you.
At night, I watch you dream.
When you were little...
Come snuggle with me.
You have dad's eyes.
You have my personality.
I'm so glad we're doing this together.
Let me tell you about the day you were born.
You look so happy!
Even though I miss little you, I love watching you grow up.
I love your face
and your heart
and your soul.
Let's read, you and me.
Today, I am thankful for...
Mistakes happen and everyone makes them.
We will figure it out together.
We're a team.
Let's go for a bike ride, all of us.
Let's go for a run, just you and me.
You worked really hard.
You make me smile.
Thank you for picking me.
Olive juice.

And when I remember to make you feel a part of us
when I remember how important it is to make you feel like a person that matters
when I remember that respect and kindness are taught and how much you follow my lead
I get happy, loving you.
I get childhood
I get gentle
I get smiles
I get love
I get warmth
I get the real you.

And I realize all of the amazing ways to say it,
I love you.


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