Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on active.
Since I can remember, I have been on the run. Going going going under I'm gone. Running from something, from someone, from myself. Never wanting to sit idol...always something to do. Always something else to get to. Always go go go. And recently, the universe has been screaming at me to stop. Just stop. Shut up, sit down, calm yourself and just stop. Being active and busy, put your badge of honor away, no one cares.
So, I'm done. Well, trying to be done. Trying to find my new normal of done but still me. Finding new ways to find joy. So universe, I, once again, am listening. Like when you called a book to me about a crazed family with too much on their plate until the mom gets into a serious car accident and has brain damage and can't be left alone and therefore has to put busy aside. Like the people that I am randomly meeting with that tell me things like, "no one is that busy...everyone just needs to calm down and shut up". Like the woman I met last week who over a cup of coffee and in a matter of minutes said to me "Sabrina, you're a good person...with or without running an incredible agency that does good. You're still a good person. And even if you do not work yourself to the bone, you're still a good person. Even if you find your new normal, you're still a good person. Even if you're not active, all of the damn time...you're a good person. Just find your joy now.
So, I have hung my training shoes and am taking long and gorgeous runs with my puppy. I am not worried about the mileage of next week, having to add on. No longer worried about the time but taking in the beauty of fall in NY. I am swimming to keep myself able to swim, not worried about having to do an open water swim soon, because I won't. I am going to go for walks with my daughter and my son. Walk in the quiet and walk in the cold. I am going to try meditation, because we all know how much I now need my mind to rest too.
I'm listening and finding ways to be me without all the activity.