Childhoodtake2!

Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on aware.

Go.

I've been taking very close notice.
Your mannerisms, how much like me they have become.
How you use your hands as I do, use my expressions too.
I've become very aware that I'm in there.

I've been taking very close notice.
How even though you're still my little guy, you're starting to get a little bit taller.
You're getting older, becoming much more a 10-year-old boy and way less a little little kid.
I've become very aware that you're growing up in front of me.

I've been taking very close notice.
How much better we've been doing.
How the house is calmer, how you're happier.
How we yell a whole lot less, the tension seems to be melting.
It was the hardest year we've been through in a very long time and we didn't survive, we really became who we've always been, the best partner.
I've become very aware that we're still in there and how desperately I love you.

I've been taking very close notice.
How around your mouth there are spots of gray.
How during our runs you can't go as far, how tired you get, how easily it comes.
How you still have the spirit, but it's a lot more tamed.
I've become very aware that my little puppy is a full-grown adult dog now.

I've been taking very close notice.
Of time.
How fleeting it is, how quickly it passes, how when you think you always have a little more of it, you don't.
How healing it can be and how much we need it to pass and keep marching on.
I've become very aware that time is our most comforting and most anxious gift.

I've been taking very close notice.
Of my feelings.
How I'm feeling and how I'm really doing.
I think the best answer, honestly, is ok.
I have moments of deep sadness, deep appreciation, deep respect.
I have moments that I'm puffy, I'm at peace, I'm fuzzy, I'm exhausted, I'm loved, I'm lonely, I'm surrounded by beauty.

I'm aware.