Childhoodtake2!

Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on beyond.

I am working on a longer post this week that talks about my ability to go "above and beyond", the pros and cons of that, the inability I have to not give it my all, the difficulty I have in stopping.

Then, last night, a few of us got into a conversation about what happens to us and how we emotionally and actually respond when things are beyond our control. Does the lack of control make us regroup? Does it make us reprioritize and seek a healthy mental state? Do we double down on lists and tasks? Do we let more and more things go? Do we take more and more on? The conversation kept me up most of the night thinking, wondering, amazed at how different we all are. Amazed at how little we try and understand each other, amazed at how much we do try and understand each other.

And this is where my next post comes in because weeks ago I started thinking about this and maybe because of that, or maybe because more and more people are talking about it, I find myself listening to a lot of different perspectives. What "works" for me, when I do know and come to terms with what is "not working". How to I manage and most importantly, how do I tackle life when everything is beyond my control.

This year started me working on my business full time. A reduction in my working hours, a peace and calm I was really needing. Like all of us, I went through the horror of this pandemic, the worry of family who I honestly thought I might lose, the concern of "what ifs" with the company and if I lost my income, the worry of not going out and the depression that came with not seeing those I love. This year, the world caught on actual fire. Everywhere we looked, there was social unrest, a reckoning we needed to do, still need to do, big changes we had to make. As as the world caught on fire, I watched people still be themselves in the sense that they worried about things that were "insane" to me. I watched as their priorities seemed so skewed and clearly not important.

So, what if I used the same grace on them that I am using towards others. What if I realize that they are leaning into what makes them comfortable because things are beyond their control and "control" is too important to them? What if I offered myself that same grace and said that I'm not "too much" all of the time. I just am and when things are beyond my control, I go above and beyond to make it feel right in my head.

Stop.