Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on carry.
Go.
On the day you were born, I whispered in your ear as I put you to bed...
I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart.
And to this very day, almost 13 years later, I still do.
When I first had you, I didn't feel a weight or a pressure. I felt light, comfortable, and like this was what I was meant to do.
I think that's what surprised me the most.
I was the woman that never wanted to mother and then all of a sudden, mothering is what I felt most comfortable in.
I was so comfortable in my skin as your mom.
Your dad and I fell into a grove and it was like our life, just with an added source of pure joy.
You were my smile, you made me laugh and you made me swoon. I never swooned before you sweet girl.
I didn't feel your weight, I was light as a feather.
It wasn't until the toddler years that the fog set in and the weight was noticable.
Our second was here, our first was in full-force threes, my career was an all in kind of place, and I carried parent-hood.
The pressure was on and it was felt from everywhere.
But mothering, I still felt just right at mothering.
Even with a toddler, even with a newborn, even sick and unable to move, even with a career that I took two week off from, moethering you both felt weightless.
Until the decisions got harder.
The choices weren't so clear.
Until I realized I have no clue what I'm doing because all I've ever done is love you.
And, we're coming towards the years where we're all not sure how hard we will hold on to that love.
But here is the thing about mothering...
A mother's love can carry you through.
A mother's will can be your will.
A mother's heart can bare the weight.
A mother's touch can heal.
A mother's soul can be the light you need.
A mother's home can be the shelter you need.
A mother's love can and will carry you through.
I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart.
Stop.
I really love this. I am now into my grand-mothering years. There is less direct responsibility, but a great requirement to pray, support, and affirm.