Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on drive.
For as long as I can remember, I had a strong drive. I'm gritty, scrappy, I'm determined, I'm stubborn as hell, I'm self-motivated and I'm focused. I have goals, I have a vision, I see my end game, I work hard...damn hard, I have drive.
I have so much drive that at times, it's concerning and too much. I don't drop balls and when things get overwhelming, I take MORE on...I do more. I plan more. I schedule more. I have drive.
It took me YEARS no, DECADES to understand that this is a me thing. A me and other self-motivated, internally driven people thing. This is not universal. It took me even longer to accept that, learn from those that are slower, kinder, calmer. It took me even longer to realize that this is why I am always and forever attracted to my balance. I look for and ache for those that are not like me. I am hungry for those that make me slow down a bit, calm the hell down a bit. Put that drive in park for a beat and take it a little easy.
And I cannot say that I am a good balance for my balance. I cannot say that I make them better people like they make me better, but I can say that they too find me, they keep me. So maybe they too need a little of my drive. Even if it's for a reminder of what they do not want their life and goals to be?
I have drive, I am driven, I am determined. I am stubborn as hell, I have grit, and I'm scrappy. I don't give up and I do not quit. People like this, we get shit done...no joke get it done. But this is why we also surround ourselves with balance.
And so I found the loves of my life that will put a book in my hand and beg me for a reading date. I have babies that ask for a walk instead of a run today. I have a puppy that wants to be snuggled with me. I have always loved a nap and always and forever will. I married calmer and made him a little more driven. I have framily that is kind and forgiving. I have accepted how different we all are and I have realized how much I need those help me find the parking brake.
Balance is the key to so much, isn't it?
Thank you for such an honest piece.
Your FMR Neighbour #25
I used to be quite driven,
and everything was goal,
but then my life was riven
and I discovered that my soul
possessed unknown resilience
to slow, and step away,
to take in mundane brilliance
contained within each day.
I don't know what tomorrow holds;
the drive may well return,
but however fate unfolds
I'm glad for chance to learn
that there was nothing I did lose
in retirement I did not choose.