Childhoodtake2!

Every Friday we unite for five minutes to write on one word. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on expect.
Go.

There are a lot of expectations set.
On us.
A lot of expectations we set.
On others.

When I was younger, my friends were my family.
I grew up with them.
And one regret I have is that I always expected too much
was too hard
needed them to prove themselves to me.

As I grew, I realized how impossible that was, to fill my void,
and I started to put expectations on myself.
And to find me in the fog and anger and loneliness.

And I did.
I found me before I found him, which of course is the only way to find your person.
But we are all hardest on ourselves, hard and cruel.
There are times when I sit back and think I would never allow anyone to talk to me the way I talk to myself.
Because my expectations are high.
And I have always expected too much of me.
And you.
I do expect a lot from you guys.
Not to fill a void, because I found me before I had you,
but I expect you to be glorious you.
And there is a lot that goes with that.
I expect you to flourish
I expect you to rise up to the challenges life brings you
I expect you to be the best person you can be, always
I expect you to live a life that makes you smile and beam with joy
I expect you to make others feel the same, just happy to be around you
I expect you to always speak with your heart and your mind
I expect you to try
I expect you to work hard and play hard and finish hard
I expect you to flourish
and I know you will.

As for my own expectations for me,
I am growing again.
I am putting those same expectations on me because you gave me my second chance and I will not take advantage of that.
I expect to and will live a life that makes me happy and joyful.
I expect to and will live a life that doesn't have me in a cloud of exhaustion.
I expect to and will live a life full.
I expect to and and will be softer,
on me.

Stop.