Five Minute Friday - first

Every Friday we unite for five minutes to write on one word. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on first.

It's the first of the year.
It's time for fresh starts and new beginnings.
It's time to see what the year has in store for us,
more accurately, what we have in store for us.
Every January starts out fresh, but one or two weeks in, I start to feel the same old same old.
The wash and repeat of life.
The weight on my shoulders, on my mind.
How difficult day to day can be.
How added stress is just enough to send me tipping over.

This January isn't much different.
Work is starting off hectic and I already feel behind.
My balance is out of wack.
All I want is peace, but I can't seem to find it.
Find the right state of mind to tackle all I have to do and find more energy for additional stresses.
However, here is my first...
I am not letting January define my year.
I know it's just a month of worry and concern and chaos and stress.
But, you will not be the definition of my year,
you will not define all of me.
I will not wish you away, no matter the misery.
I will not wish this time away.
I will manage because I have to.
I will find a way to rest because I have to.
I will find a way to get it all done because I have to.
I will find a way to put my arms around you and apologize for all of my harsh behavior this week,
because I have to.
I will find a way to gentle, because I have to.
I will find your gentle, because I have to.
And, for the first time,
for my first time,
I will find me, my peace, my smile,
in the month of new beginnings.


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