22
May

Five Minute Friday - forward

Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on forward.

Go.

Each Friday, I plan, in detail, my next week. I look at my meetings/events scheduled, I prioritize my to do lists. I figure out what I have to do and when. And each week, as I look forward, I keep deleting all of the "things" we had planned since they no longer are happening.

In the beginning of the year, I had planned to slow down and take things easier. I had planned to find a new rhythm and slow dance. I had planned for things to be calm and bright. Fast forward to March of 2020 and the world stopped spinning. At first, it was the exact pause I needed and maybe it still is. But as it continues to fly forward, I don't see an end and I don't see a solution and I don't see how this will ever change. I only see the pause and isolation.

I, and my family, have been very fortunate. It is a privilege that it has taken me this long for it to feel heavy. I am privileged, no question about it. I am healthy, I am strong, we are both working, my brand new leap of faith business is still going. So, with knowing this all comes from a place of privilege, the weight is starting to feel a little heavy. I don't know if I can keep going and going without an end and without connection. So, today, I say a little please to the universe, a quiet little prayer. I would like to start looking forward once again and having something to look forward to.

Comments

  1. Joe Siccardi says:

    Visiting as your FMF neighbor. I, too, have been blessed with good health and little disruption ... except for housing. The apartment I leased is still unavailable because the tenant can't move because her new apartment isn't available because that tenant can't move, etc. I'm safe at my son's house, but it is not my home. I try not to look at the minor inconveniences negatively, but rather as opportunities. I missed winter in Maine. My son and I have talked and shared. My other kids keep in close contact with us. Even on rainy, dismal days, the sun is bright above the clouds. I'm not a planner. My wife was and this oause would have driven her crazy. As I would have told her, the sun will shine again; plans can always be adjusted; and God is in control. Hope that helps.

  2. Gwen says:

    I feel it too. Our calendar was full to bursting and so many big and wonderful things were nearing completion when - STOP. We also have been very blessed as God has provided for our every need as we shelter at home. My husband continues to work from home, we already homeschool so that was not a big change but all of the everything else, gone. It's so hard sometimes. On top of all of that, I picked Explore as my word of the year. You can imagine how that is going. lol At the end of the day though, I am trying to count every blessing, recognize each new lesson that has risen from this slower type of every day, and I look forward to what's next. Praying for you to find peace amongst this! It's going to feel so wonderful when things return to some version far closer to normal.

  3. I'm not pausin', I'm not stoppin',
    ain't no bloody way!
    Life goes on and hellzapoppin'
    every single day.
    I got tumours, I got pain,
    people say I'm through,
    but even circlin' round the drain
    there's still a lot to do,
    like spread the faith and joy and hope
    of a God who took our sins,
    who holds us up so we can cope
    with the new life that begins,
    with a light that shines so blindingly,
    yet in its brilliance, we can see.

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