Every Friday we unite for five minutes to write on one word. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on leave.
Go.
There are moments,
there are times,
there are days,
when the shouting is too loud,
when the tantrums are one after the other,
when the two of you are constantly fighting,
over toys,
or who gets to put out the napkins,
or who touched/pushed/hit who...
when all I want to do, is leave.
Leave it all behind.
The noise,
the chaos,
the loud,
the mess,
the constant planning,
the schedules,
the to do lists
the control,
the budgeting,
the balls all in the air,
the responsibilities,
the tension.
And what would I miss?
What would I leave?
I would leave the nighttime routines.
I would leave the little girl that hugs me while reading and says "I love you mommy"
I would leave the family that on Sunday morning says "olive juice"
I would leave the little girl that holds my hand.
I would leave the little boy that screams for a hug (and a kiss).
I would leave the little boy that always reaches for me.
I would leave a family I fought for, wanted, begged to come to me.
I would leave the snuggles.
I would leave the smiles too.
I would leave the little girl that waits for me to say goodnight to her.
I would leave a little boy that has a two year old voice.
I would leave all the good,
I would leave the moments I will remember when I am dying, the ones that will stay with me forever.
Stop.
I think most, if not all, Moms have felt this way. There is so much noise and "clutter" that makes leaving sound like the sane thing to do, but there are all those things, moments, joys, and people who make the staying worth the chaos.
Visiting to day from FMF. Glad to be your "neighbor".
Thanks for getting it! Off to visit your page too!
amen! great post.
visiting from the fmf community! Love, Traci Michele http://www.tracimichele.com