28
Oct

Five Minute Friday - while

Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on while.

Go.

In a little while
this hurt will hurt no more
I'll be home, love

When you were first born, we turned this song on and your dad danced with you.
When we brought you home, he turned it on again and held you as he danced around our family room.
As the tears streamed down my face, I felt like I was watching your whole world flash by my eyes, even though you were days old.
But, days turn into months, years, and before we know it, a lifetime.

In a little while
this hurt will hurt no more
I'll be home, love

The words still ring in my ears and immediately this memory still hits me.
But recently, they mean something different.
I have been in a sad fog.
And I have not been around, fully.
But I feel myself coming home.
I feel it lifting and coming back home to you all.

In a little while
this hurt will hurt no more
I'll be home, love

Losing those that you thought mattered is hard.
It's painful.
It's a pain you cannot put into words.
And the rollercoaster is real.
The anger, the numbness, the tears, it's all so real and you feel it all.
Sometimes you're feeling it all at the same time, sometimes separate, it's a mess.
Loss is a messy.

In a little while
this hurt will hurt no more
I'll be home, love

Leaving the pain and sadness is something you can actually feel happening.
There are fewer tears.
There are fewer bouts of rage.
The sound of your name doesn't hit me as hard.
I don't feel your weight anymore.

You laugh a little more.
You see reasons to laugh again.
You remember joy.
You find people, other people.
You move on in some way.

But in a little while, I'll be home, love.
I'm on my way home love, in a little while.

Stop.

Comments

  1. This is beautiful - pain, comfort, and hope all wrapped up together, and so real. May God bless you as you continue on your way. Visiting from FMF#22

    1. childhood says:

      Thank you so much.

  2. Wow! This is so beautiful and full of emotion.
    Thanks for sharing. so openly.

    1. childhood says:

      Thank you so much for your kind and loving words.

  3. Yeah, in just a little while
    it will hurt no more,
    but till then I'm gonna smile
    at the furnace door
    and let the pain wash over me,
    and that grin be my answer
    that claims final victory
    from the despair of cancer.
    Sure, I'm bleeding and fatigued,
    sure, my life is sore constrained,
    but it's long that I've believed
    that life and fate are so arranged
    that the messages we give
    become what we were meant to live.

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