You start a new year.
You have a new outfit.
You have a new teacher.
You will make new friends.
You are filled with excitement.
You are able.
You are smart.
You are bold.
You can do, be, achieve.
You are strong.
You are kind.
You are going to get it done.
You have me filled with pride.
You have me bursting with excitement for your future.
You have me blue.
You have me sad and I feel a hole right on my chest, the exact spot you would lie as a baby.
I don't know how the heart can be bursting with pride/happiness/excitement and feel so sad and blue all at the same time.
But that's what mothering has done to me. It makes me live this life of dichotomy and because I struggle with change and time moving, I struggle with you getting bigger.
I struggle with you being a whole person.
I struggle with how tall you are.
I struggle with how many words you know.
I struggle with how much you know.
You are gorgeous, you are knowledgeable, you are going to accomplish anything you want. You are joy and love and peace and crazy and beauty and intelligence. You are Anna James and you are going to get it done.