9
Nov

Goodnight

It is in these moments that I drink you in.
I slowly make my way towards your bed and I hold your hand.
I look at your closed eyes and I check your breathing.
I whisper in your ear that I love you, I carry your heart, and that I eat you up.
I tell you that you are sunshine.
I drink you in.

I wonder what you are dreaming about and I ask every morning if you remember.
I watch you, I watch this perfect moment of you.
I listen to the quiet surrounding you.
I am overwhelmed by you.
I drink you in.

I don't stay long,
I hug you, I kiss your whole face.
I stroke your hair, I move it out of the way.
I put blankets back on.
I watch you turn and snuggle into a cozy position.
I see you reach for your lovey.
Your arm wrapping around her.
I drink you in.

This is the moment.
I know you're asleep and you will never know the way I look at you in this moment.
You will never hear my whispers and my wishes for you.
You will never know how much love you can see on my face, in my touch.
You will never know that I am drinking you in.
You will read this some day.
I may be here, I may be gone,
know that these moments of quiet nighttime love,
these moments of perfection,
they fill me full.
They are enough for me to start my next day.
They are enough for me to go to sleep warm and calm.
They make me ache for more of you,
more time with you,
more childhood,
more babies.
They make me realize that we were meant to do this.
They fill me full,
I drink you in.

They are yet more moments that I will remember always.
Moments I will turn to for warmth and memories I will go to when I am leaving this world.

So goodnight my little faces.
Dream big, dream happy, dream childhood.
Love your life.
Remember how much we love,
how much we are a team.
Through all of it,
the bad days, the fights, the push/pull of control.
We always love.
Goodnight my sweet little faces.

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