I am guilty of it.
I write a blog about how having children has allowed me to relive a childhood.
I post pictures of their amazing little faces.
Whenever something good happens, I talk about it.
I am guilty of it.
We are not great parents because we are crafty,
not because our homes are clean,
not because our kids have the best manners
not because it's this wonderful world you step into.
But because of the fact that it is the exact opposite of all of that,
and we love anyway.
And this week, I have read from so many parents who are starting to unravel.
And the most common thread...guilt.
Guilt for unraveling,
guilt for losing it,
guilt for yelling,
guilt for feeling crazy, sad, depressed, not loving enough, not doing enough, not supporting enough.
Guilt for the look in their eyes when you do lose it.
Because we want them to feel special.
We want to hear their laughter.
We want to see their childhood unfold,
in front of our eyes.
We want happy.
The one and only thing I have learned about parenting (and I do talk about this)
is that it is 95% of the time, it is terribly hard.
And that means, most of the time,
most of the time, you are wondering why?
Why did I do this?
Why did I decide on this life?
Why are you so difficult?
Why are you screaming because I won't let you play with a knife?
Why are you always taking your shoes and socks off?
Why are you so messy?
Why are you so loud?
Why are you crying again?
Why are you whining?
I just gave you this glorious day...why are you not appreciative??
Why don't you know to say "thank you",
why are you upset again?
Why are you two fighting?
And the why comes 5% of the time.
And that 5% is so incredible, so amazing, that it carries you through the 95% of difficult.
That's HOW amazing that 5% is.
That's why it's so important.
They are the moments you will remember on your death bed.
They will be your final thoughts.
take the wind out of you,
crumble you to the ground,
It's work and so much more work.
It's patience and constant caring.
it's role modeling
and it's hard.
So, here is our story.
I'm a mom of two little faces.
Two little faces that I created with this wonderful person who trusted me to do this with him.
See how incredible they are?
No really look at them.
These two little faces push buttons.
They cry, they whine, they throw tantrums, they stomp feet, they slam doors, they fight, they hit each other,
they hug, they kiss,
they scream "no!" they throw their bodies on the ground,
they say olive juice family, they sleep like angels, they hold hands,
they run away, they don't listen, one is always crying,
they kiss your hand, they are amazing at night, they can love like nothing in this world,
they are messy, they always have food on their clothes and on their faces, they are not great in the car,
they tell you how much they love you, they call you mom and dad, they are so proud when they learn something new,
they hug, they smile, they laugh, they love to read,
they belong to us.
They say things like, you're my favorite mom and I carry your heart too.
They make us family.
They make us scream at each other, fight like crazy
and remember why we love each other so much.
They are frustrating, they are so difficult
they are warm
they are love.
So, it's okay.
It's okay that no part of you is enjoying today.
It's okay that you spent most of it screaming at someone for something.
It's okay that you want to run away.
It's okay that you may get really quiet and just plain stop talking for a while.
Because we love anyway.