He came into this world so calm, so new.
He was and is my love at first sight.
He and I, we have a connection.
It's different than the connection and attachment you have to dad.
Dad is your moon and stars, he is your world.
You and I, we connect.
We get it, each other.
We are always holding hands.
You are always reaching for loving arms.
We have always held on too tight, to each other.
Your very first word was mamma.
Your very first glance and eye contact, was with me.
Your first kiss, was from me.
And we just held on too tight, to each other.
And all of our worries, all of our concerns, all of your fighting, we did together.
We understood that this time around, things were going to be different with you.
And although you always have had me running towards and away from love,
you and me together, we held on too tight, to each other.
Until I let go.
And sent you off.
Until the day came that you have been most looking forward to.
Until you put on your backpack and even if it is for only a few hours, you walked out of our lives.
You started you.
Glorious, awesome and kind you.
Even if it's only preschool, and kindergarten will be so much for difficult for me,
you walked into that classroom and didn't turn back.
You were not just ready, you were desperate to be big,
and grow up
and make your way
and say the words, I go to school now.
You were aching for this freedom and independence,
and I let go of our tight hold.
I let go of our quiet time together.
I let go of my last baby.
I let go of your tiny hand, gave it one last kiss, told you that I eat you up,
and I left.
No longer holding on too tight.
