5
Feb

Joy begin

Oh joy begin
Weak little thing
More precious there'll be nothing, no
Oh joy begin

Sweet loves of mine...
I have shared how motherhood was not what I had imagined in my life.
I have shared how worried I always was to be a mom.
I have shared how I put motherhood out of my mind.
But I share my life with a man that would not have it any other way.
Fatherhood was always a part of his story.

More precious there'll be nothing, no
Oh joy begin

When you first came into our lives, the joy of parenting was overwhelming.
I cannot begin to tell you how at peace I was in our first three years of life.
Joy had entered my soul in a way that I did not realize would happen.
My connection to your father was so intense, we were living a significant part of our purpose...
not just to be parents, but to be your parents.
I had no fear, I had no concerns, I just mothered and loved.
Let's not forget these early days...oh joy begin

And then, without warning, without realizing it...a fog came over us.
Draped in a heavy cloud, gray, full of darkness, it fell hard and fast.
We then spent years of our lives blindly stumbling through, no longer co-parenting, no longer connected, no longer living our purpose, but continuously trying.
We landed in such a way that our love allowed us to clear a path...we always knew we were all still there, we just needed to find a way, our way.
We lose our way in fear and pain...oh joy begin

As we lived through this fog, I look back and think of how thick it was to fight our way through.
Not our coach, he doesn't even remember it.
As I look back, I think of the pain, the tears, the difficulties.
Not our coach, he remembers our children growing up in front of his eyes.
And the truth is, we are both right. Both of those things happened at the same time.

More precious there'll be nothing, no
Oh joy begin

Looking back at our time together, so many things developed.
You grew, you grew and you grew and you grew and you grew.
And so did we.
Together, we built on something and intentionally tried to find joy.

We made joyous decisions like...
we would travel and give you experiences.
we would show you parts of the country and world that we hadn't seen.
We made joyous decisions like...
we would give you opportunities to try new things, things you wanted to try
instruments and sports and clubs and friends
We made joyous decisions like...
we would fill our home with traditions and foundations that you relied on
we would fall back to the real us and snuggle in
we would show each other love in wonderful ways
we would rely on each other
We made joyous decisions like
we would adopt and take care of a dog
we would show them our love and attention
we would take care of them and hold them as close as we held each other
We made joyous decisions like
we would read together
we would play board games
we would watch movie series
we would connect, in any way possible, we would connect.

After so many years, the fog is definitely lifting.
We can see how much more clearly now.
We have repaired much of the hurt we have faced.
We allowed love to fix the broken and find our way back.
There are reasons we are here now...

First and foremost, we would not give up on us.
With you growing, I leaned so heavily on dad and his parenting style.
We talked and talked and talked.
We listened to each other and made changes based on the pain we were causing.
We lost a lot together, more than we knew we were going to. More than we had imagined at this point in our lives. And, when you really are family, well, you fall into each other during significant loss and pain. You push each other to look differently at life. You ask each other about different ways it could have gone. You support each other, but also make sure you are being honest. You remember that your person makes you the best version of you and you show up.
We remembered that we are partners in the best way. It's the most wonderful thing about us lovies and recently, it has become so evident and makes me well, joyful.

It is important to me that you hear and remember all of us sweet loves.
Life, relationships, marriage, and partners, it is work. Real-life work. Forever work. The most important work.
It is so easy to love in the hard, it is so so easy to love in the easy. It is so easy to love in the beginning.
It is so much work to love forever. The most important job you will have is being in a relationship...any relationship. Friendships, forever loves, family, framily...they are all important work...our most important work.
Because why else are we all here if not to connect, support, love, push, cherish, engage, challenge, and adore one another?

If you ever find yourself in the deep of the fog, keep talking, keep searching, keep remembering.
Do not forget your story, your connection, your reasons.
Do not believe the lies of everyday bliss and joy.
Do not believe that there will not be fog.
Do not believe that the work isn't worth it, it always is.
Do not forget our story, our love story.
The one that began with two innocent kids, falling so easily for each other.
Finding joy so remarkably easily.
And then with intention, finding our way back.

With laughter sing, oh life begin
First just one step

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