Oh, sweet girl, I have already explained how things are different for women.
And how most of it is wonderful.
There are so many women that will come in and out of your life.
Girlfriends.
The wonder and amazement of girlfriends.
Late nights together.
Talking over coffee, wine, food...always food.
There will come a time when relationships with these girls becoming women will mean everything.
And I will be okay with that.
I will understand that because I was one of those girls becoming a woman that needed other girls becoming women in my life.
And I got so lucky.
I didn't connect with the mean ones.
I didn't let the mean suffocate me.
And, not because it wasn't all around me.
It was.
I went to a huge high school.
Sports were a huge part of the culture (and I wasn't athletic).
Cliques were all around me (and I didn't fit into any).
I went to a college that was mainly women.
Easy to fall into cliches, and drama, and envy.
And somehow, I found them.
I was able to find love, comfort and so much support.
These are relationships that are still with me today.
The ones that instead of crying over that boy together, we now talk about how tough parenting can be on our marriage.
The ones that instead of worrying about that test, we now talk about our careers and our goals.
The ones that instead of worrying about what to wear out, we now talk about how much our bodies have changed.
The ones that instead of laughing about last nights bad choices, we now laugh about our kids,
theses lives we all created.
I am so lucky.
I found women who even if they don't live right down the hall anymore, or just a drive away, they are family.
They want good for me, I want good for them.
I want happy for them, they want happy for me.
They have always loved, I have always loved them right back.
And no matter where we live, our love, our support, it's there.
And most of us are married, or with someone that is family.
Most have their own kids that we are raising together,
through distance, and bumps, and career changes, and addresses changes.
And there are a handful of us raising girls becoming women.
And here's the truth.
The potential for mean is out there.
The potential for it to suffocate you is out there.
Please cautious, deliberate, loving Anna, do not fall for it.
Please do not fall for the appearance of "popular" and do not fall for relationships that are anything but genuine.
Genuine in their happy, genuine in their love, genuine in their support.
You will need these women.
They will need you.
You will need to talk, and complain and lean, and hear from, and be a part of these women.
These relationships will save you from me, and how complicated our relationship will be one day.
They will help you to stay grounded and sane.
They will save you from broken hearts
and bosses or teachers that are difficult.
Make sure they are the right girls becoming women in your life.
Make sure that you are building each other up and never tearing each other down.
Make sure that you beam with and for them, never worry about what they have that you don't.
And I have every part in making sure that you are not a mean girl.
I am responsible for raising kind, and loving.
And so I ask you sweet girl of mine...
Am I stressing it enough?
Am I reminding you that we are all connected and our words, our actions, they stick with people.
Am I showing you kindness in how I live my life?
Do you hear me gossiping?
Or do you overhear me speaking well of others, holding them up and supporting their journey?
Do I tell you why I love instead of why I am annoyed?
Do I remind you that the way to fight mean is through love?
And, I am showing you, telling you, begging you to always choose love.
