7
Mar

Mothers and daughters

March is about women. Strong women, the ones you can count on.
I know it's hard, this mother-daughter thing, but you can count on me.
I've got you.
I've got your back, I stand with you.

Lately, we've been watching a lot of TV together.
It started with shows I wanted to introduce you to.
Some of my favorite comedies. And now, it's become another one of our things.
One of those things you look forward to, another mother-daughter thing we have.

Like our walks, like reading dates, like our obsession with Pearl.

Mother-daughter things like our ups and downs.
Our connection but also how we can rip each other open.
Our love, our bond.

Mothers and daughters talk.
And I know I am not your first go-to. It takes you longer, but we get there.
We talk through the days, the good parts, the busy, the parts that weren't so good.
When we both lost something important, we talked and talked and talked.

Mothers and daughters hug.
Sometimes I hold on to you as if I can't let go, because letting go has a greater meaning than just letting the hug go.
Sometimes you hold on to me too.
At 12 about to be 13, you ask me for hugs.
A morning hug, a good-bye nose kiss, a good-night hug.
You and I hold on to each other hard.

Mothers and daughters hold hands.
And cry.
And laugh.
And tell jokes.
And share stories.
And share.

Mothers and daughters bump heads.
And say things they don't mean.
And stomp around each other.
And try and make up.

Mothers and daughters are a tough combo.
I show up for you.
I'm learning to let go a little more each day.
Because I trust you, I believe in you.
I'm learning.
I'm trying.

Mothers and daughters who are the same, share so much.
Like a stubborn personality.
And a sense of humor.
And fear, we share fear.
This world scares us a bit.
What I wish for you is that you will learn to push through that fear.
Because you have me in there and you will realize you will get to the other side.

Baby girl, I'm so happy you found me, came to me, made me a mamma, your mama.
I always and forever knew that if I were to mother, a girl would find her way to me, and you did.
Baby girl, I know you're not a baby anymore.
I know.
But I also know that this feeling of mothering you will never go away.

So when we talk about your future and talk about things like...
Where you'll end up.
What state your college will be in.
How many babies you want.
How you picture your life.
The line of work you want to be in.
How it will feel when you're not here.
Just know that you changed me for the better.
You made me the best version of myself.

I know it's so connected, this mother-daughter thing.
But you can count on me.
You were and always will be my daughter, and mothers and daughters mean something to each other.

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