Childhoodtake2!

All things change.
Time goes by so quickly.
Before I can put away the winter clothes,
and start to think about spring,
summer is here.
And just as I am getting to relax and enjoy the summer love,
I put a little face on the bus for the first time.

Seasons change.
That's the only constant.
Is change.

This is the most loving season of my life.
This is the time when you will need and want me most.
This is the time when you cling to my legs to help with dinner.
This is the time that you run to the door to greet me.
This is the time that you want to be around me all of the time.
This is the time you ask "mom up" all day long.
This is the time you take my hand to play.
This is the time we all still hold hands, and walk as one.
This is the time we kiss with our whole face
and hug with our whole bodies.
This is my season of love.

It's now.
And tomorrow, it will all change.

Tomorrow you will be a teenager.
Tomorrow you will have your own friends, your own schedule, your own things going on.
Tomorrow you will have your big life.
Tomorrow you will be more quiet, unsure of what to share.
Tomorrow you will be more protective and the words won't come pouring out of you.
Tomorrow you will be driving yourself everywhere.
Tomorrow, you will leave this house you made a home.
Tomorrow is a new season, and things will change.

So, for now, although there are so many times I want to pull my hair out.
I want you to be potty trained
I want you to ride a bike without training wheels
I want you to be able to get your own snack
your own drink
get ready
tie your shoes
walk up and down stairs alone
be able to catch the bus by yourself
I want to be less needed.

And one day,
I will.
And the quiet will be so loud.
The calm will be anxious.
The still house will be empty.
The needless mother will feel
needless.
The whining will stop,
the excitement will go away.
The tantrums, they will be replaced.
The feet stomping will turn into slammed doors and regretted words.
The terrible twos will turn into horrible threes...
and then you too will be getting on a bus.
Soon, the seasons will change.
And my winter will come.
And I will have rest,
I will have time,
I will have baths,
I will have an extra glass of wine,
I will have my work,
I will have my writing,
I will continue racing,
and I will have you.

And somehow, we will start a new season.