Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on provide.
There isn't much I leave up to anyone else to provide.
There isn't much that I am not the one that is giving, taking care of.
But in a class yesterday, one I take for me, one I take to remind myself to breathe,
I was reminded of how loudly the universe speaks to me, when I take the time to listen.
Because when I am ready to hear it, when I am ready to listen,
the universe provides me answers
and opportunities to grow.
The universe reminds me that it is not all up to me,
I have partners
I have trust in my life and I can lean on them too.
The universe provides me balance and stops me from doubling down.
And there are times when it has to take things away from me to provide me with the reminder of what is important.
To provide me answers
it takes away my ability to move without pain
it takes away my ability to hold things without shaking
it makes me dizzy, seeing black spots dizzy, whenever I try and push through it all
To provide me sleep and rest
it takes away my ability to think clearly and makes my brain full of fog
it takes me from doctor to doctor trying test after test to finally come to the conclusion that I have to stop
To provide me with the love of my lives
it has my daughter wiping away tears in front of me daily
it has my son unraveling because he no longer feels a connection
it has my marriage exhausted
When I stop to accept and listen, the universe provides me with the answers I am always asking myself
when is too much too much
when is it time for me to pull back
how long can I do this for
how much more can I give
And yesterday I was reminded that I can still be provided with the lessons even when I am in balance
even when I am ready to be different.
I should not only listen when everything is dark
there are answers it is providing even when it all feels ok.
Like be with your kids on their day off
like set up family time and little dates with them
like they all need the real you, not the tired version of you that they see all too often
like love provides so much for them and you so just let love be your guide.