It's clear that I am one big puddle of emotions. Most times mom is laughing so hard she is crying, scared and therefore crying, so proud she is crying, heartbroken and crying, upset and really angry and crying. And now I see how much I have passed that on to you. I see how your voice starts to shake, and how you don't want to, but it's right there, right at your fingertips so you can't help it...it's going to spill out. Or, how you might not care at all if it is spilling out, because you are so okay with crying, and so okay with having this, what to everyone around us thinks, is an over-reaction...but to us, it just is.
I'm not going to lie, it's hard kiddos. It's embarrassing, it's a lot, it takes over all of the time. It doesn't go away, it doesn't get better, it just comes and comes and comes. Now, there are times you can control it a little more than others. There are times you can push it down a little. There are times you can be a grownup and say, I can make this statement without crying, I can do this. But most times, you succumb to it, you can't resist the pressure that is building inside of you.
But, it also comes with a heart that is full. A heart that carries with it those that you love. A heart that really feels for others, even those you don't know. A heart that can't get over things and let things be swept under the rug. A heart that protects. A heart that is loyal. A heart that loves, just loves, loves so hard that it can't stop. Loves so hard that it won't let anything happen to those that you love. A heart that will stand with and by those that you love and lead with that one organ. A heart that is worn on the outside of your body all of the time. Imagine a world in which we all lead with our hearts...sopping messes we would all be yes, but imagine how much we would all take care of each other.
So yeah, we're emotional. We are. There are times that we are seen as really immature, really childish. Now, for you, you are kids so it's still okay. But even getting up there in years, it's starting to grate on those around you, myself included. But, I also very much get it. Frustration, anger, happiness, joy, love, fear, every emotion flows out of our eyes. It's something you will want to change about yourself a million times over. It's something you will wish away, but remember, it also comes with so much good. So much love. So much kindness. So much to give. So much to hold. So much that is trusted with your heart. We are the ones that others come to because we are reliable, we are good listeners, we are loving souls. So what if we cry?