Childhoodtake2!

Lovies, this is a time we will all remember. Always and forever. The time the entire world went black and dark and quiet. The time we were all hunkered down and living each day minute by minute. The time we were inundated with information and closed off, all at the same time. The time when everything was closed and we all just watched. The time it all hit, all at once and everywhere.

So, in a time of worry and concern and just not knowing what the hell is going to happen next, and not knowing who is going to make it out ok, and not knowing what will happen to our entire town and just plain not knowing anything, here are some things we do know....

Right before this all happened, you two could not be in the same room. You were both at each other, all of the time. You could not have one single conversation without anger and disdain dripping from you. And we had had enough. We would be 3 minutes into our day and both of you would be sent to rooms and asked to separate. I would cringe with how you acted around each other. And then, overnight, you had to become each other's only friend, only person, only source of entertainment and it all changed.

You both worked together, you both compromised, you both play silly games, you both take turns, no one is in charge anymore. You both work side by side, all day long, in one office doing work and helping each other. You both read and play and snuggle on Pearl. You eat together, take turns watching things you both enjoy, you are all you have. As much time as we have to be spending together, it's made it so much better. You are getting closer and Anna, Cole is living his best life because he has you back.

Our house is getting messy but organized and projects we were going to get to, they are getting done. And extrovert dad is on fire with all of his projects and finding ways to run to Lowes for everything and anything. And introvert mom is loving being cooped up and staying put.

Laundry is getting done.

Dinner isn't rushed.

Saturday mornings are really lazy, so are Sundays.

Dad is still working out...at home!

My business is still turning, for now.

We are watching cute movies.

We are snuggling a lot.

I am sleeping a lot and less and then a lot again.

My lists are getting shorter.

We are walking Pearl all of the time, and she could not be happier, having us all here.

She too is loving her crate and alone time.

I am watching so many shows, and I know that sounds like a weird positive but it really really is.

Dad and I are holding hands all of the time.

Hugs are plenty around here, out of nowhere hugs, I really love you hugs, thanks for doing this with me hugs.

Cole is a Lego builder master and got us hooked to a new Lego Master show that is adorable and hysterical and fun. Anna is watching and really into it.

We're all sleeping in!

I'm not addicted to my phone anymore, I actually have it on silent so I can really take advantage of the quiet.

There is a lot to worry about, a lot to stress over, a lot to wonder how it's all going to look on the other side, who will be impacted the most, who isn't able to count a single blessing because their world is falling apart. So, for those of us who can, who are able to find the good, it's important we remember that and let go of little things that just don't matter.

When this is all over, I'm going to hug my friends hard. I'm going to go to the gym and do a dance of glee. I'm going to yoga and cry. I'm going to remember sleeping until I naturally wake up. I'm going to try and do more of that. I'm going to be ok.

Every Friday we unite for five minutes. Only five minutes, that's all we get, that's all we have. And then, right where we are, no edits or second-thoughts, we publish those words. This week, we write on active.

Since I can remember, I have been on the run. Going going going under I'm gone. Running from something, from someone, from myself. Never wanting to sit idol...always something to do. Always something else to get to. Always go go go. And recently, the universe has been screaming at me to stop. Just stop. Shut up, sit down, calm yourself and just stop. Being active and busy, put your badge of honor away, no one cares.

So, I'm done. Well, trying to be done. Trying to find my new normal of done but still me. Finding new ways to find joy. So universe, I, once again, am listening. Like when you called a book to me about a crazed family with too much on their plate until the mom gets into a serious car accident and has brain damage and can't be left alone and therefore has to put busy aside. Like the people that I am randomly meeting with that tell me things like, "no one is that busy...everyone just needs to calm down and shut up". Like the woman I met last week who over a cup of coffee and in a matter of minutes said to me "Sabrina, you're a good person...with or without running an incredible agency that does good. You're still a good person. And even if you do not work yourself to the bone, you're still a good person. Even if you find your new normal, you're still a good person. Even if you're not active, all of the damn time...you're a good person. Just find your joy now.

So, I have hung my training shoes and am taking long and gorgeous runs with my puppy. I am not worried about the mileage of next week, having to add on. No longer worried about the time but taking in the beauty of fall in NY. I am swimming to keep myself able to swim, not worried about having to do an open water swim soon, because I won't. I am going to go for walks with my daughter and my son. Walk in the quiet and walk in the cold. I am going to try meditation, because we all know how much I now need my mind to rest too.

I'm listening and finding ways to be me without all the activity.

Stop.