Dear Cole,
I know sweet love.
It's unfair.
So much falls on you.
So many tears are shed because of you.
Each time you accomplish a first, it's my last first anything.
The first time I realized we were pregnant, was the last time I would hear that news.
The first time I felt you kick
or hiccup
or roll over
was the last time I would carry a heart with me.
The first time we brought you home
was the last time I brought home a brand new baby.
The first time you met Mia
it was the last time Mia would meet one of our babies.
The first time you started and stopped using a bottle
the first time you had food
your first smile
laugh out loud funny moment
your first tooth
the first time you sat up
crawled
walked
ran
said your first word
used sentences
asked for things
potty trained
all of it.
It's my last first
with anybody.
And yes, I am more than happy for you
and with you
and because of you.
I am proud
I am elated
I am so pleased.
But, because I have such a hard time letting it all go
letting you both go
I am...
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