This is it

We will never in our lives be this tired again.
We will never be this loved.
We will never again be this busy.
The house will never ever be this loud.
I will never again come down the stairs, wiping the night from my eyes, turning the corner for my coffee life line and see all the legos, all the toys, all the mess and confusion.
I will never have to step over toys, stuffed animals, ever again.
I will never again have to break siblings apart.
I will never again hear siblings play pretend and figure out games together.
Never again will the house be this messy.
Never again will I be playing referee.
Never again will their faces be this dirty.
Never will I hear cries, tantrums, full out war.
Dinner will never be this chaotic.
Never again will I battle with a six year that wants to be in charge.
Never again will I watch a three year old melt down.
Never again will I be invited into their beds to snuggle, to read.
Never again will we sing and be silly.
Never will I hear that childhood laughter.
Never again will he have this voice, this little little boy voice (god, how I love to hear you talk).
Never again will she be bursting to tell me all about her day, her time, her adventures.
Never will they be this open with me.
Never will they be this honest.
Never again will they be this into family time.
Never again will we pile on the couch, as close as we can, watching a movie and whispering love songs to each other.
Never again will you whisper to me from your sleep.
Never again will our family bike rides be this cozy.
Never again will your curls be all I can think about and play with.
Never again will I be able to kiss your nose, bite at it.
Never again will I be able to eat you up.
Never again will I push you on that swing, never again will we play soccer in the front yard, like a family.
Never again will I smell your head and instantly smell your bath from the night before.
Never again can I drink you in this much.
Never again will I be standing in line in a store and there is a need, an absolute need for you to come over and hug me.
Never again will your love for me take control of your emotions.
Never again will this define my family.
Never again will it be the five of us, all in one house.
Never again will you love it as much as I do.
Never again will I hear you say that you never want to leave our family.
Never again will I be this involved.
Never again.
Because, this is it.
This is it.

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